The Trade-Off
By Laura Geiger
Six months ago, our family of five moved from bustling Toronto to a rural eleven acres just under an hour outside of the city. In the same move, my two older children, aged four and seven, left their public alternative school and began a life of unschooling.
You’d think a decision like that would involve months of discussion and planning, deep conversations, and maybe a few pro and con lists. In reality, it all happened inside of a week. We knew nature and time together were among our highest priorities but were resigned to the idea that it would take years to arrange. When the the forest began calling at an October outdoor festival, we listened. All the details fell quickly and easily into place, including a new home, a new car, and a workplace commuting schedule. By the beginning of December, we were watching the snow fall at night and identifying animal tracks in the morning.
The rest of the winter was near magical, and the kids spent more time outdoors than ever before. We studied animal dens, searched for gnome houses, created tunnels in the snow, and learned to steer our sleds down our very own tobogganing hill. Removed from the influence of peers and neighbours, the children began to value their own desires and interests by spending their time in activities they would have previously dismissed as “babyish” or, in the case of my son, “too girly.” We dressed how we wanted, we danced how we wanted, we rediscovered the simple thrills of life. We were free.
The warmer temperatures have given us even more time outside, and all three kids come and go as they please through the always-open doors. We lounge under trees and read books, take walks in the woods, photograph wildlife and identify it later (my Facebook friends are fond of this activity, especially when I’m completely wrong), check on the progress of the budding flowers, and discover the edible plants the previous owners planted. The woods, the pond, and the sky above are teeming with living creatures and changeable weather. It’s a kid paradise.
Sounds perfect, right? Like everything, it’s a trade-off.
Spending time together as a family in such an isolated environment is a Petri dish of issues, tantrums, and interpersonal clashes. Basically, we fight a lot. Not only that, we miss the constant availability of playmates and playdates. (And I miss spontaneous conversations and coffees with other moms!) There is a homeschooling and unschooling community here, and we have met some lovely, welcoming families. It is a much different experience, though, to schedule play far in advance and drive half an hour to it than to wave at the kid across the street and start running around together.
Life is about choices, and even if our needs and desires send us back to Toronto at some point (or somewhere else entirely), we will have had this experience. We will have taken a chance on our family, gifting ourselves with both fresh air and the freedom to explore who we really are. For now, nothing is more important than that.
When she has a second, Laura Geiger creates music, art, and merriment. You can see her work here: LauraGeigerArt.com.
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